Raising siblings who choose love over rivalry

Raising siblings with love is a parenting skill. Two siblings can either be best of friends or the worst enemies. Making your children support each other and develop a strong bond requires nurture from parents. Children observe the mutual support amongst other family members. It always starts with conscious parenting. Give them environment that teaches empathy and compassion. 

It starts with understanding child development and psychology. The early childhood experience and birth order plays a key role in shaping their mindset. Elder child is seen to have dictatorship and are responsible whereas the younger sibling is a peace maker of the home and pampered. If parents learn the behaviour based on birth order they will be skilled to navigate their parenting style.

Based on Albert Bandura (American psychologist) theories, he states that children learn by modelling family members and parents. If they see you talking with each other respectfully and kindly they learn to inculcate that in their habits. 

If they see that you handle disagreements with respect, they learn to respect each other. Making mistakes is not a problem but apologising makes them learn humility. Showing love and compassion when they are upset teaches them that all family members are equal. 

Often elderly have a habit of favouring elder child or male child, but as parents we should make them also practice fairness and equality amongst all siblings. 

How we can increase bonds amongst children and other family members?

• Teach them working together and joint task helps to increase connection.

• Teach emotional intelligence as children at younger age do not know to process emotions like hatred, anger, jealousy and heal their emotions. 

• Deep breathing exercises in the moments of stress. 

• Take a pause before reacting to anything.

• Staying responsible for your actions 


There should always be rules set to resolve conflicts in a right way by talking to each other. Give space whenever necessary. If all the members of family have solution based mindset, it is easier to fix things. 

Spending time with each other is the key role to increase love amongst siblings. 

In the end, it wasn’t the walls or the name that made them a family—it was the choice to stay together.

-Dr Shruti Nabriya

School counsellor, child psychologist 

Ryan international school, Nashik 

https://youtube.com/@drshrutinabriya?si=405ClhbktPre2AoA

https://www.instagram.com/psychotalk_with_drshruti?igsh=d2UwaGxoNHJhMjU4&utm_source=qr

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